On Marriage: Thoughts and Ramblings

We said “I Do” on 6/9/13. In three years of marriage we have: lived in 3 different states, earned 2 degrees (1 per) held 5 or so different jobs, owned 3 cars, adopted a cat, drove half way across the country, had many fights, laughed, cried, experienced loss…

When I take the time to reflect on the past 3 years, I realize we have done a lot! Could we have done certain things better? Absolutely. Do I regret anything? No, not really.

Most of the time I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m wasting my life away BUT I’m encouraged when I take a moment to pause and really consider all that Matthew and I have accomplished in our first few years of new life together.

We’ve both learned tremendous, arduous, and painful lessons. It’s hard being married to another flawed human being. Marriage has stripped us of our egos, torn down our walls, magnified our inadequacies, exposed our selfishness…need I go on?

We get a lot of shit from our friends and acquaintances for getting married at such a young age. I get it. We are pretty  much counter culture to the general public, especially in the progressive hip cities we tend to live in. I’m sure if we moved to Lancaster, PA we would blend right in with the conservative Amish folk. But really.

So why did we get married if it’s so damn hard! I realize I’m making it sound pretty awful. If you are someone who has doubts about the meaning of marriage, or just plain old “doesn’t believe in it”, consider the other side of the coin.

We strongly believe that getting married in our early 20’s was an amazing decision for us. We have each other to depend on during some of the most formative years of our lives. It’s in our early 20’s that we develop lifelong habits that will make or break a successful adulthood. If you don’t think so, watch this. Ted Talk: Why 30’s are not the new 20’s

Of course, choosing your spouse makes a huge difference. Make sure he (or she) is good quality people!

I’m so thankful I have someone like Matthew to push me to be a better person, wife, christian, friend. He’s my confidant  and my constant companion. He knows me more than any other human. It’s uncomfortable, joyful, annoying and pleasurable all in one.

Here’s a cheesy but true comparison. Like a fine Barolo, our love continues to grow stronger and more complex with age. A young Barolo has harsh and stringent tannins but with the correct care, time and devotion it can turn into an extremely valuable, silky, pleasing, and noble wine.

Despite all of the hard work, being married has been one of the most rewarding life decisions we could have made. “As Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17.

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Aren’t we just adorable?!
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